You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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