I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
