# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
