I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
