it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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