spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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