Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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