I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
