Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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