I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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