You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
