You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
