I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize