she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
