i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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