ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
