i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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