you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
