covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
