I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You're like the curious george of whores
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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