could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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