I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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