if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
