he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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