She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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