How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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