I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
