Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
