It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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