She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Randomize
