When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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