I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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