Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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