Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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