so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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