none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize