Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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