Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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