Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
