We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
