Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
