i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
