My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
