Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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