wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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