yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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