sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
