oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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