Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
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Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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