He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
