oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
