she was so not down for the gang bang
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
