im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
