I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
