Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
