Just took my morning after pill in the library
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
