u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize