She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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